There is a difference between sending a thoughtful message and being thoughtful.
AI can help with the first part. I use it for that. It can help you find the right tone, take the edge off a message, or figure out how to express empathy when you are not quite sure where to begin. A conversation with AI can help you get to a first draft that sounds more like you.
That can be useful.
But I do not want us to confuse a well-written note with a relationship.
In meetings, one of the most meaningful things a leader can do is acknowledge someone’s specific contribution. Not the generic, “Great job, everyone.” I mean: “I appreciate the way you asked that question. It changed how we were thinking about the problem.” Or: “You brought a point of view that helped us make a better decision.”
That requires noticing.
It requires paying attention to the person, the work, and what actually happened. AI can help you write the words after you have done that work. It cannot replace the work itself.
This matters because it is very easy to use a polished message as a substitute for being present. You can ask AI to make a note sound warm, empathetic, and thoughtful. And it may do a nice job. It is very good at that sort of thing.
But if the message is doing all the caring for you, people can usually tell.
The human part is the direct recognition. Look someone in the eye and tell them you appreciate them. Name one thing they did that added value.
If you work virtually, do not wait for the annual review or the next scheduled one-on-one. Reach out impromptu in Slack or Teams. Ask whether they have 30 seconds. Then say specifically what you appreciated.
It takes a minute.
That minute can provide value, compassion, empathy, and caring. It tells someone that their work did not disappear into the machinery of the day.
Everyone wants to be appreciated and heard. AI can help us express that better. It should not become the reason we stop noticing the people in front of us.
Dr. James Kelley writes about the human side of AI, work, and leadership. Explore The Crucible’s Gift on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0999891510. Check your AI fluency:
https://checkaifluency.com
.